Brunch Rules

Early in our relationship, my wife and I encountered one of those little asymmetries all new couples have to navigate: I’m a natural early riser and she is not.

Even on weekends, when there’s no big rush, I’m generally up before the sun. It’s not that I think it’s virtuous. I can’t help it. It could be genetic. It could be that I was raised by a Marine. I just can’t sleep in.

My wife, on the other hand, moved in with an old alarm clock that must have been passed down for generations. Glowing red numbers on a black background. Manual knobs on top. The sort of terror-inducing alarm that usually signals an imminent nuclear meltdown. She would let it go off repeatedly, hitting “snooze” a minimum of three times.

“Why not just set it for when you’d actually like to wake up?” I asked, like the young moron I was.

“I’m waking up gradually,” she said. “I’m preparing myself.”

On weekends, when our non-stop schedule as daily newspaper reporters abated at least a little, we found common ground and reconnected over one of her great pleasures: brunch.

Yes, yes. I know. Brunch is for suckers, for rubes. Real chefs, line cooks, servers, and bartenders hate brunch. All that famous Anthony Bourdain stuff. Agree to disagree. Brunch rules.

I can wake up early and do whatever I’d like for a few hours — run, meditate, read, write. She can get the few extra hours of sleep she’s earned grinding all week. Then we can have brunch out somewhere together. Could be a diner vibe like Tex & Shirley’s or Bagner & Alexa, or something a bit fancier, like the Print Works Bistro or Green Valley Grill. In the 18 years since my wife moved to Greensboro to put up with my early rising, it’s become a much better brunch city.

However.

While brunch rules, there are Brunch Rules. They started as my wife’s instinctive preferences, merged with my own pet peeves, and evolved into the family Rules for Better Brunching. Perfection is unattainable at any one place. But these are the goals:

1) Good Coffee. This sounds simple. It should be. But you’d be surprised how many places — particularly otherwise great diners — kill it on the plate but whiff it in the cup. Places that really nail this include The Sage Mule, where coffee is never an afterthought. I also like a good bar and bartender at brunch. It’s amazing how many ways you can screw up a Bloody Mary.

2) Sweet and Savory. Some days you want French toast or a big stack of pancakes. Others, a killer omelette or shrimp and grits. Sometimes we order one sweet dish, one savory, and we share. You’ve got to have variety. Chez Genèse has really got this covered, from their cocottes (baked egg cups) to the lemon ricotta pancakes. Dear Dad’s — which is opening a second location downtown — also dominates on this metric.

3) Wait time. This used to be a real problem. Go after churches get out on Sunday, and you could wait an hour or more at some places. Luckily, some of the more popular local spots — including First Watch and Scrambled Southern Diner — have moved to an online system where you can get on the wait list before leaving your house. Makes a world of difference. There’s just too much good food in Greensboro to wait around.

Have your own favorite brunch spots and family brunch rules? Lemme know. I’ll be finishing this Bloody Mary.